A friend shared a blog post on Facebook yesterday that made me want to write this post. It was on nursing while pregnant, which is not a much-talked about subject. Even less talked about is something called nursing aversion, which seems to happen a lot to pregnant mommas. It certainly happened to me during both of my pregnancies. It can be so discouraging and sad to have these distinct negative emotions about nursing your little one while you are growing their sibling. I think its important for mommas to hear more about it, so they don't feel guilty! So I wanted to share my experiences.
When I was pregnant with kid number two, my daughter was between 3 and 3 years and 9 months, and still nursing somewhat frequently for a 3 year old: I'd say around 5-6 times a day, nursing to sleep, and nursing to wake up in the morning. Pregnancy caused me a lot of physical discomfort while nursing, which I expected, but also this agonizing anger at having to nurse this child. I had to establish some limits on the duration and timing of nursing to keep my sanity. I kept nursing sessions to very short time limits, probably around 1-2 minutes each. I would tell my daughter "OK, when I count to 10, we are all finished." Also, I could not stand her moving. She had to be very still, and her hands could not be touching me. I just couldn't stand the feeling. So she clasped her hands together to keep them from moving around, as she was a fidgeter. I also used distraction methods, offering a snack or other activity (we read a lot of books) in replacement of nursing. Using these coping methods, we made it through my pregnancy, continuing to nurse a couple of times a day, to tandem nurse, after my son was born for about a year and a half, slowing down gradually to only nursing before bedtime for several months before stopping nursing. Even when my milk dried up around 15 weeks, my daughter continued to comfort nurse (which added a whole new sense of physical agony).
I tried to describe the feelings I had when nursing my daughter (as opposed to when not nursing her) to friends, but it was such a horribly ugly, hateful, angry feeling that it was hard to talk about, and hard to describe. The closest I could come to describing it was to say that, when she latched on, I physically had to resist the strong urge to just throw her off me. I was so mad at this. It caused a lot of tears, and a lot of stress for us. While she was nursing, I took deep breaths a lot, and I used other means to distract myself (like reading a book, or surfing the internet), which helped with the anger. As horrible as it sounds, it was literally only DURING the act of nursing. When I was not nursing, I was so sad to have these feelings, and I was glad to be still nursing. Really. As miserable as it was. And I was glad we made it to tandem nurse. That was a special experience for me.
When I got pregnant with baby number 3, my son was almost 3 (2 years, 9 months) and still nursing pretty frequently. Almost before I even knew I was pregnant, I started feeling the physical discomfort of nursing during a pregnancy. I had sore, super-sensitive nipples, and the skin crawling feeling of annoyance and anger when my son latched on. Very quickly, I started to cut nursing sessions short. We were also dealing with selling and buying a house and moving at the same time, so there was already a lot going on. Also, for the first time, I had a lot of issues with nausea. And nursing made me have a surge of nausea at the beginning of each nursing session. I could tell when my milk started to change tastes (due to hormones) and dry up around 13-14 weeks. My son was not that excited about the differences, and while he would ask to nurse, he would only latch on for 10 or so seconds before he would move on. It was around this time that he nursed for the last time, and we ended our nursing relationship with little fanfare. It was quiet and a bit sad for me, but also, I was glad to be not nursing for the first time in almost 7 years. I was glad for a short, 6 month break.
I've had several friends ask me about nursing a toddler or older child during pregnancy, and describe some of the same feelings I had, so I knew it wasn't just me. I am sure it is a hormonal thing, and I am sure it is more common than we realize, since it is not often talked about. I'd love for anyone else to share their experiences on nursing while pregnant if you are interested.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
It's a..... miracle!
The husband & I decided to keep the date of our level II ultrasound quiet. I'm already struggling under the pressure of "it's a girl, this is your girl, I hope it's a girl, I'm praying for your girl." The constant comments already put me in a stressed place. Having my own little secret about when we'd get to look at our baby gave me a little pocket of happy.
So, on the down-low, husband and I went to the OBs office hoping for a clear view of a very healthy baby.
I've had tons of ultrasounds but this one was just amazing. The baby was bouncing around like crazy at first and then calmed down. We saw the two hemispheres of a brain. We saw four clear chambers of a heart. We saw functioning kidneys. We saw lungs. We saw a spine. We saw bones. We counted toes for goodness sake! The baby even yawned while we were watching... the ultrasound tech rewound the yawn over and over. I couldn't believe that one.
My ultrasound was at 18 weeks 6 days. The baby is measuring 19 weeks 2 days... so pretty much exactly on schedule... weighs 10 ounces.
And... the baby is clearly a boy! We had a view so perfect that the ultrasound tech didn't have to say it... both the husband and I called it out. I was so relieved! So many people have been telling me that I'd have a girl... but in my heart I felt it was a boy. I was getting frustrated because I didn't like the idea of being so out of touch with what was going on... and everyone else around me knowing more than me about what was going on inside my own body.
Our tradition is to keep the baby's name private until he's born... and we will continue that tradition with this boy.
So, I'm pretty much half way there. I'm still totally sick. Coming off my nausea medicine routine means I will wake up vomiting at about 3 in the morning and it will take two days to get back to "normal." My OB and I talked quite a bit about it and basically I'm to do what I need to do to remain functional. I do try and take med breaks at least once a week to see if the all-day misery has passed. I'm really looking forward to feeling like myself again. I can be mostly normal with medicine - but there are side-effects that aren't so great and honestly, I'm just tired of the "sick" routine. Also, I'm just tired. Where is the 2nd trimester energy??? I need it desperately!
We are starting to talk about how we're going to move furniture around and make house changes to make room for baby 3. I'm excited about it... but it still all seems so far away. March is in about a million days and I'll be pregnant for all of them.
So, on the down-low, husband and I went to the OBs office hoping for a clear view of a very healthy baby.
I've had tons of ultrasounds but this one was just amazing. The baby was bouncing around like crazy at first and then calmed down. We saw the two hemispheres of a brain. We saw four clear chambers of a heart. We saw functioning kidneys. We saw lungs. We saw a spine. We saw bones. We counted toes for goodness sake! The baby even yawned while we were watching... the ultrasound tech rewound the yawn over and over. I couldn't believe that one.
My ultrasound was at 18 weeks 6 days. The baby is measuring 19 weeks 2 days... so pretty much exactly on schedule... weighs 10 ounces.
And... the baby is clearly a boy! We had a view so perfect that the ultrasound tech didn't have to say it... both the husband and I called it out. I was so relieved! So many people have been telling me that I'd have a girl... but in my heart I felt it was a boy. I was getting frustrated because I didn't like the idea of being so out of touch with what was going on... and everyone else around me knowing more than me about what was going on inside my own body.
Our tradition is to keep the baby's name private until he's born... and we will continue that tradition with this boy.
So, I'm pretty much half way there. I'm still totally sick. Coming off my nausea medicine routine means I will wake up vomiting at about 3 in the morning and it will take two days to get back to "normal." My OB and I talked quite a bit about it and basically I'm to do what I need to do to remain functional. I do try and take med breaks at least once a week to see if the all-day misery has passed. I'm really looking forward to feeling like myself again. I can be mostly normal with medicine - but there are side-effects that aren't so great and honestly, I'm just tired of the "sick" routine. Also, I'm just tired. Where is the 2nd trimester energy??? I need it desperately!
We are starting to talk about how we're going to move furniture around and make house changes to make room for baby 3. I'm excited about it... but it still all seems so far away. March is in about a million days and I'll be pregnant for all of them.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Birth Junkie
I completely get where that phrase comes from. I'm kind of a birth junkie, although I don't have the means and resources to follow that "addiction" very often. But I did get the honor and privilege of being at one of my best friend's home births this weekend. My poor dear friend who was very overdue had her beautiful baby girl this weekend at home, and it was amazing. I want to shout it from the rooftops, and tell every single person I see. "Do you KNOW what I saw this weekend?!? A BABY being BORN!!!!!! How amazing is that?!"
I have been lucky and blessed enough to experience four births (that were not my own) in the past few years, and I really believe that exhilaration and awe never diminishes. Maybe if I had seen it hundreds of times, and knew in detail, the things that could go wrong within the birth process, instead of just the general knowledge that I have, maybe, just maybe, it would be less impressive. But I really don't think so. Our glorious midwives acknowledged the same adrenaline and exhaustion I felt yesterday after the whole thing, so I really think its always amazing.
She keeps thanking me for being there and for helping; in truth, I cannot thank her enough for inviting me. It is such a sacred thing, and I think for a first home birth, you never really know how you're going to feel about having extra people there, until you're in the middle of it all. I am so thankful that all the timing and childcare and circumstances worked out. There were so many logistical restrictions for me that it really was amazing that it all worked out. It had to be a weekday evening or a weekend, but not Thursdays or Fridays (because my husband referees football games on those days right now), and not too late at night (because my 3 year old doesn't sleep well without me after around 10:00 or 10:30 at night), and the fact that it all worked out (including an extra scheduling snafu for me) really means to me, that it was meant to happen that way.
I'm glad I was there. I had a bigger active part than I had planned on having. Every birth I have been to, I was really there just for moral support and possibly child care if needed. This birth was the most intense one out of the four, and the midwives needed all their hands for the technical part, leaving me the powerful and profound honor, along with her husband, of being her physical support, bracing her on one side while she pushed that baby out. I will never, ever forget that feeling of her primal power, and being part of her grounding connection to the world.
I think all pregnant mommas planning a homebirth should get to go to a home birth about halfway through their pregnancy. I have mostly great memories from my son's home birth, but this experience really reminded me of that adrenaline, that primitive connection to mothers everywhere and that powerful amazement that accompanies a baby's entrance into the world. It really makes these next 15 or so weeks seem like no time at all in the grand scheme of things!
PS, I have to give a cheer for my husband. Not only did he rock his Very Important job of childcare after a crazy busy week at work, and a lot of football games that he referreed, he celebrated the joy and awe of seeing a baby being born with me afterwards. He said, "Its an amazing thing to see and its so cool that you get to experience the other side of it." And that would not be possible for me without his amazing support.
I have been lucky and blessed enough to experience four births (that were not my own) in the past few years, and I really believe that exhilaration and awe never diminishes. Maybe if I had seen it hundreds of times, and knew in detail, the things that could go wrong within the birth process, instead of just the general knowledge that I have, maybe, just maybe, it would be less impressive. But I really don't think so. Our glorious midwives acknowledged the same adrenaline and exhaustion I felt yesterday after the whole thing, so I really think its always amazing.
She keeps thanking me for being there and for helping; in truth, I cannot thank her enough for inviting me. It is such a sacred thing, and I think for a first home birth, you never really know how you're going to feel about having extra people there, until you're in the middle of it all. I am so thankful that all the timing and childcare and circumstances worked out. There were so many logistical restrictions for me that it really was amazing that it all worked out. It had to be a weekday evening or a weekend, but not Thursdays or Fridays (because my husband referees football games on those days right now), and not too late at night (because my 3 year old doesn't sleep well without me after around 10:00 or 10:30 at night), and the fact that it all worked out (including an extra scheduling snafu for me) really means to me, that it was meant to happen that way.
I'm glad I was there. I had a bigger active part than I had planned on having. Every birth I have been to, I was really there just for moral support and possibly child care if needed. This birth was the most intense one out of the four, and the midwives needed all their hands for the technical part, leaving me the powerful and profound honor, along with her husband, of being her physical support, bracing her on one side while she pushed that baby out. I will never, ever forget that feeling of her primal power, and being part of her grounding connection to the world.
I think all pregnant mommas planning a homebirth should get to go to a home birth about halfway through their pregnancy. I have mostly great memories from my son's home birth, but this experience really reminded me of that adrenaline, that primitive connection to mothers everywhere and that powerful amazement that accompanies a baby's entrance into the world. It really makes these next 15 or so weeks seem like no time at all in the grand scheme of things!
PS, I have to give a cheer for my husband. Not only did he rock his Very Important job of childcare after a crazy busy week at work, and a lot of football games that he referreed, he celebrated the joy and awe of seeing a baby being born with me afterwards. He said, "Its an amazing thing to see and its so cool that you get to experience the other side of it." And that would not be possible for me without his amazing support.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
That time when everything makes you cry
At 18+ weeks I've reached that special time in pregnancy...
that time when everything makes me cry.
Need proof? Here are the times that I cried, teared up or nearly cried today.
Note: My day started at 4:30 am with a surprise vomit-fest. Fatigue doesn't help an over emotional state.
1) I cried while throwing up.
2) I cried quietly while laying in bed after throwing up - wishing I could sleep.
3) I cried saying goodbye to my Father-in-law as he left to go back home
4) I cried because the house was quiet with just me and the Bear
5) I teared up when I looked at the clock, it was 8:20am, the Bear & I were still in PJs and we needed to leave for preschool at 8:40.
6) I cried after I dropped him off because a) I love his school so much and I'm so happy he got a place there and b) I was going home to an empty house and had nearly four hours of total freedom.
7) As I spent my "total freedom" time scrubbing toilets I cried listening to the state of our government on NPR and apologized to the baby for bringing it into such a messed up world.
*note* this is the point where I realized that I was out of control and needed to pull it together.
I didn't cry again for nearly two whole hours when....
8) I went to the AT&T store to upgrade to a new cell phone. The process of updating my phone has been comically ridiculous and the last straw came when the sales clerk asked for the last four digits of my mom's social security number. (my mom added me to her cell phone friends and family plan for my birthday two years ago. It is and will always be the coolest, most generous birthday present I will ever receive) Who knows their mom's social security number like that? I know my husband's. I know mine. I know my childrens'. I do not know my moms. So I teared up. Knowing my mom was at work and would be hard to reach I called my dad - who didn't know. Luckily my youngest brother has been down this cell-phone upgrade road and he knew the magic four numbers to get me out of AT&T store hell.
9) I teared up listening to the Bear tell me about his day at school. He was never able to verbalize his days last year. Having him be so happy makes me happy.
10) I teared up watching both boys play outside this afternoon. My boys are best friends.
11) I teared up when I took my first bite of mashed potatoes with dinner. They tasted great.
12) I teared up when the Bear gagged on mashed potatoes but wanted to keep our rules of trying a bite of everything. He's so brave.
So, yea, I'm an emotional wreck. I'm exhausted. I'm pregnant.
that time when everything makes me cry.
Need proof? Here are the times that I cried, teared up or nearly cried today.
Note: My day started at 4:30 am with a surprise vomit-fest. Fatigue doesn't help an over emotional state.
1) I cried while throwing up.
2) I cried quietly while laying in bed after throwing up - wishing I could sleep.
3) I cried saying goodbye to my Father-in-law as he left to go back home
4) I cried because the house was quiet with just me and the Bear
5) I teared up when I looked at the clock, it was 8:20am, the Bear & I were still in PJs and we needed to leave for preschool at 8:40.
6) I cried after I dropped him off because a) I love his school so much and I'm so happy he got a place there and b) I was going home to an empty house and had nearly four hours of total freedom.
7) As I spent my "total freedom" time scrubbing toilets I cried listening to the state of our government on NPR and apologized to the baby for bringing it into such a messed up world.
*note* this is the point where I realized that I was out of control and needed to pull it together.
I didn't cry again for nearly two whole hours when....
8) I went to the AT&T store to upgrade to a new cell phone. The process of updating my phone has been comically ridiculous and the last straw came when the sales clerk asked for the last four digits of my mom's social security number. (my mom added me to her cell phone friends and family plan for my birthday two years ago. It is and will always be the coolest, most generous birthday present I will ever receive) Who knows their mom's social security number like that? I know my husband's. I know mine. I know my childrens'. I do not know my moms. So I teared up. Knowing my mom was at work and would be hard to reach I called my dad - who didn't know. Luckily my youngest brother has been down this cell-phone upgrade road and he knew the magic four numbers to get me out of AT&T store hell.
9) I teared up listening to the Bear tell me about his day at school. He was never able to verbalize his days last year. Having him be so happy makes me happy.
10) I teared up watching both boys play outside this afternoon. My boys are best friends.
11) I teared up when I took my first bite of mashed potatoes with dinner. They tasted great.
12) I teared up when the Bear gagged on mashed potatoes but wanted to keep our rules of trying a bite of everything. He's so brave.
So, yea, I'm an emotional wreck. I'm exhausted. I'm pregnant.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Food...All. The. Time.
My life revolves around food. Even not pregnant (although I have been either pregnant and/or nursing for the last 7 years, both of which make me insanely hungry), my life is all about food. I have two little kids who must have the same high metabolism their parents both have, and also the same two kids with different food sensitivities and intolerances, so I'm always thinking about food. We also have some different beliefs about food. We try to stick with things in as close to their natural state as possible. We try to avoid processed foods, foods with artificial flavors, dyes and/or preservatives, and usually go for the organic option if there is one. We also like to support local businesses, so we try to buy things from local farms and farmers' markets.
My son has a dairy intolerance, which also affected what I could eat until a month or two ago. Its amazing what has dairy in it. This limited a lot of our food choices. I had (still do somewhat) to consider what restaurants were nearby, and what we could eat from them all the time. Rarely could we grab something "unplanned, on the go". My daughter cannot tolerate high fructose corn syrup, so we also have to be careful with that, especially at fast food, or convenience food restaurants.
But it seems like all I think about is food. Whats for lunch? Whats for dinner? What do I need to get at the store or market today? Is there anything I need to prep for dinner tonight? Do we have any leftovers that the kids will eat for lunch? Is there anything for my husband to take for lunch? Do I need to make bread for games on Friday? Do I even have flour to make bread? Do we have enough eggs for this weekend's breakfast? Where can I get eggs that is open today (a lot of our farmer's markets and farm stands are open for limited hours, and I hate buying eggs at the grocery store)? What's in the freezer that I can cook tonight? Can I double this recipe to freeze one? Chicken's on sale, do I have time to buy it, or do I make my husband go on his lunch break?
And now I am adding to this crazy, constant list: What can I eat for a snack? Can I sneak a cookie without the kids noticing? Its bedtime, can I make it through the night without something to eat, or should I drag my pregnant self down the stairs to get something to eat before I fall asleep? Or can I beg my husband to go get it for me? Where can I get a good piece of cheesecake at 9:00 at night? Or more like, where can my husband get a good piece of cheesecake at 9:00 at night? Can I buy kettle corn at the store near my house or does it have to be Trader Joe's (the answer is Trader Joe's by the way)? The list just goes on and on and on.
And I know there's no end in sight anytime soon. I'm an extended nursing mom, so I know I will be eating like this for at least the next two to three years. Food is such a constant in my life; you'd think I would be used to it by now!
My son has a dairy intolerance, which also affected what I could eat until a month or two ago. Its amazing what has dairy in it. This limited a lot of our food choices. I had (still do somewhat) to consider what restaurants were nearby, and what we could eat from them all the time. Rarely could we grab something "unplanned, on the go". My daughter cannot tolerate high fructose corn syrup, so we also have to be careful with that, especially at fast food, or convenience food restaurants.
But it seems like all I think about is food. Whats for lunch? Whats for dinner? What do I need to get at the store or market today? Is there anything I need to prep for dinner tonight? Do we have any leftovers that the kids will eat for lunch? Is there anything for my husband to take for lunch? Do I need to make bread for games on Friday? Do I even have flour to make bread? Do we have enough eggs for this weekend's breakfast? Where can I get eggs that is open today (a lot of our farmer's markets and farm stands are open for limited hours, and I hate buying eggs at the grocery store)? What's in the freezer that I can cook tonight? Can I double this recipe to freeze one? Chicken's on sale, do I have time to buy it, or do I make my husband go on his lunch break?
And now I am adding to this crazy, constant list: What can I eat for a snack? Can I sneak a cookie without the kids noticing? Its bedtime, can I make it through the night without something to eat, or should I drag my pregnant self down the stairs to get something to eat before I fall asleep? Or can I beg my husband to go get it for me? Where can I get a good piece of cheesecake at 9:00 at night? Or more like, where can my husband get a good piece of cheesecake at 9:00 at night? Can I buy kettle corn at the store near my house or does it have to be Trader Joe's (the answer is Trader Joe's by the way)? The list just goes on and on and on.
And I know there's no end in sight anytime soon. I'm an extended nursing mom, so I know I will be eating like this for at least the next two to three years. Food is such a constant in my life; you'd think I would be used to it by now!
Monday, October 7, 2013
17+ weeks and all is well
I haven't updated much because, frankly, there isn't much to update around here. I guess this is what it's like to have a normal pregnancy. I've even been checking my blood sugar in an attempt to identify any early gestational diabetes and if I keep my refined carbs to a minimum then my sugars are better than they've ever been. I had two bowls of chili for dinner (including a handful of Fritos. You can take the girl out of Texas...) and 30 minutes later I was already at 122. I just need to be under 120 at an hour.
I've been able to continue my exercise habit which is awesome. Spinning is what keeps me sane. I'm already trying to figure out if I'll be able to spin and wear a baby at the same time. I'm pretty sure I can swing it.
Today has been, perhaps, one of the top five days of the pregnancy so far. No medications needed. No throwing up. I feel fantastic. It's been so strange to not spend every minute of every day obsessing about the pregnancy. There's just no time. Some days I even forget I'm pregnant. I suppose it stems from this whole pregnancy being such a surprise. I'm skeptical that I'll be holding a newborn in just under six months. Even hearing the heartbeat whenever I want (about every other day or so we check in) it's like I just can't believe it's happening and that I feel like human being and that I'm not hooked up to IVs for hydration and laying on the couch watching TV the whole time.
And that's all there is from my world right now. A fairly normal daily life. I've felt the baby a couple of times - but nothing with any regularity. I can honestly say that this is the first pregnancy where I can understand when people say that pregnancy isn't an illness. Yep - when you're having a normal pregnancy it sure isn't. It's actually sort of awesome.
I've been able to continue my exercise habit which is awesome. Spinning is what keeps me sane. I'm already trying to figure out if I'll be able to spin and wear a baby at the same time. I'm pretty sure I can swing it.
Today has been, perhaps, one of the top five days of the pregnancy so far. No medications needed. No throwing up. I feel fantastic. It's been so strange to not spend every minute of every day obsessing about the pregnancy. There's just no time. Some days I even forget I'm pregnant. I suppose it stems from this whole pregnancy being such a surprise. I'm skeptical that I'll be holding a newborn in just under six months. Even hearing the heartbeat whenever I want (about every other day or so we check in) it's like I just can't believe it's happening and that I feel like human being and that I'm not hooked up to IVs for hydration and laying on the couch watching TV the whole time.
And that's all there is from my world right now. A fairly normal daily life. I've felt the baby a couple of times - but nothing with any regularity. I can honestly say that this is the first pregnancy where I can understand when people say that pregnancy isn't an illness. Yep - when you're having a normal pregnancy it sure isn't. It's actually sort of awesome.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Dealing with the Public
...or...What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman.
One of my best friends is a bit overdue (although she probably is disagreeing with the description "a bit" right now--sorry) with her second baby, and we were talking about things people might say to a pregnant woman at a homeschool class yesterday.
Several of us have been asked, at one point or another, "How dilated are you?" Seriously?! This is an appropriate question, coming from a stranger? Or even a family member? Really? A woman's vagina is an appropriate public conversation topic? I don't think so.
I was told when I was pregnant with my daughter to "be sure not to have that baby in the middle of the store!" Right. Because having a baby in the middle of Wal-Mart the day after Christmas is something I was aspiring to. Better add that to my next birth plan.
When I was pregnant with my son (and he was a week early, mind you, although I guess, to be fair, I was Huge), a woman at Old Navy asked me how far I was. I probably answered 37 or 38 weeks, and she asked me "How long will they let you go before they induce you?" This is a pet peeve of mine. First of all, no one is Letting me do anything. Its my body, its my decision. Second of all, induction is completely unnecessary, unless for a medical reason, and being big is not a medical reason! I very huffily told her "No one is Letting me do anything. I am having a homebirth, so I will go as long as I want to!" Her eyes were the size of quarters as she slowly backed away from me, stammering "Ohhh, well, good luck with that."
My dear, over-due friend was at a store on or right after her due date (I think, trying to walk that baby out at the mall, actually), when the mention of her due date came up with another stranger. When the date was revealed, the person asked "What in the world are you doing here?! There aren't any doctors here!!" Right. Because a doctor is necessary (not)!! Actually, I think this conversation took place in Old Navy too. Maybe Old Navy is to be avoided at late stages of pregnancy, as it seems to be a place of common offense!
I am SURE there are lots more to input, so please share what stupid or ridiculous things people have said to you while you were pregnant!
One of my best friends is a bit overdue (although she probably is disagreeing with the description "a bit" right now--sorry) with her second baby, and we were talking about things people might say to a pregnant woman at a homeschool class yesterday.
Several of us have been asked, at one point or another, "How dilated are you?" Seriously?! This is an appropriate question, coming from a stranger? Or even a family member? Really? A woman's vagina is an appropriate public conversation topic? I don't think so.
I was told when I was pregnant with my daughter to "be sure not to have that baby in the middle of the store!" Right. Because having a baby in the middle of Wal-Mart the day after Christmas is something I was aspiring to. Better add that to my next birth plan.
When I was pregnant with my son (and he was a week early, mind you, although I guess, to be fair, I was Huge), a woman at Old Navy asked me how far I was. I probably answered 37 or 38 weeks, and she asked me "How long will they let you go before they induce you?" This is a pet peeve of mine. First of all, no one is Letting me do anything. Its my body, its my decision. Second of all, induction is completely unnecessary, unless for a medical reason, and being big is not a medical reason! I very huffily told her "No one is Letting me do anything. I am having a homebirth, so I will go as long as I want to!" Her eyes were the size of quarters as she slowly backed away from me, stammering "Ohhh, well, good luck with that."
My dear, over-due friend was at a store on or right after her due date (I think, trying to walk that baby out at the mall, actually), when the mention of her due date came up with another stranger. When the date was revealed, the person asked "What in the world are you doing here?! There aren't any doctors here!!" Right. Because a doctor is necessary (not)!! Actually, I think this conversation took place in Old Navy too. Maybe Old Navy is to be avoided at late stages of pregnancy, as it seems to be a place of common offense!
I am SURE there are lots more to input, so please share what stupid or ridiculous things people have said to you while you were pregnant!
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