Nursing While Pregnant

A friend shared a blog post on Facebook yesterday that made me want to write this post.  It was on nursing while pregnant, which is not a much-talked about subject.  Even less talked about is something called nursing aversion, which seems to happen a lot to pregnant mommas.  It certainly happened to me during both of my pregnancies.  It can be so discouraging and sad to have these distinct negative emotions about nursing your little one while you are growing their sibling.  I think its important for mommas to hear more about it, so they don't feel guilty!  So I wanted to share my experiences.

When I was pregnant with kid number two, my daughter was between 3 and 3 years and 9 months, and still nursing somewhat frequently for a 3 year old: I'd say around 5-6 times a day, nursing to sleep, and nursing to wake up in the morning.  Pregnancy caused me a lot of physical discomfort while nursing, which I expected, but also this agonizing anger at having to nurse this child.  I had to establish some limits on the duration and timing of nursing to keep my sanity.  I kept nursing sessions to very short time limits, probably around 1-2 minutes each.  I would tell my daughter "OK, when I count to 10, we are all finished."  Also, I could not stand her moving.  She had to be very still, and her hands could not be touching me.  I just couldn't stand the feeling.  So she clasped her hands together to keep them from moving around, as she was a fidgeter.  I also used distraction methods, offering a snack or other activity (we read a lot of books) in replacement of nursing.  Using these coping methods, we made it through my pregnancy, continuing to nurse a couple of times a day, to tandem nurse, after my son was born for about a year and a half, slowing down gradually to only nursing before bedtime for several months before stopping nursing.  Even when my milk dried up around 15 weeks, my daughter continued to comfort nurse (which added a whole new sense of physical agony).

I tried to describe the feelings I had when nursing my daughter (as opposed to when not nursing her) to friends, but it was such a horribly ugly, hateful, angry feeling that it was hard to talk about, and hard to describe.  The closest I could come to describing it was to say that, when she latched on, I physically had to resist the strong urge to just throw her off me.  I was so mad at this.  It caused a lot of tears, and a  lot of stress for us.  While she was nursing, I took deep breaths a lot, and I used other means to distract myself (like reading a book, or surfing the internet), which helped with the anger.  As horrible as it sounds, it was literally only DURING the act of nursing.  When I was not nursing, I was so sad to have these feelings, and I was glad to be still nursing.  Really.  As miserable as it was.  And I was glad we made it to tandem nurse.  That was a special experience for me.

When I got pregnant with baby number 3, my son was almost 3 (2 years, 9 months) and still nursing pretty frequently.  Almost before I even knew I was pregnant, I started feeling the physical discomfort of nursing during a pregnancy.  I had sore, super-sensitive nipples, and the skin crawling feeling of annoyance and anger when my son latched on.  Very quickly, I started to cut nursing sessions short.  We were also dealing with selling and buying a house and moving at the same time, so there was already a lot going on.  Also, for the first time, I had a lot of issues with nausea.  And nursing made me have a surge of nausea at the beginning of each nursing session.  I could tell when my milk started to change tastes (due to hormones) and dry up around 13-14 weeks.  My son was not that excited about the differences, and while he would ask to nurse, he would only latch on for 10 or so seconds before he would move on.  It was around this time that he nursed for the last time, and we ended our nursing relationship with little fanfare.  It was quiet and a bit sad for me, but also, I was glad to be not nursing for the first time in almost 7 years.  I was glad for a short, 6 month break.

I've had several friends ask me about nursing a toddler or older child during pregnancy, and describe some of the same feelings I had, so I knew it wasn't just me.  I am sure it is a hormonal thing, and I am sure it is more common than we realize, since it is not often talked about.  I'd love for anyone else to share their experiences on nursing while pregnant if you are interested.